I was raised to be a Christian in the sense that my family believed there was a creator, but the true message of the gospel was never spoken about. I knew that Jesus died for sinners but never thought that I was a bad enough person that deserves eternal punishment. Through my teenage years I prayed now and then but it was always about all the things I wanted that would benefit me. When I look back on my life, I can see I was a wretched sinner that could not turn from my sinful ways on my own. I never thought there was a remedy and death were something that just happened and that if you just believe that Jesus existed you would end up in heaven which provided some comfort. It was almost like justifying sinning in thinking that God would know that deep down you are a good person.
Christ started working in my life in the middle of 2019. I started watching videos about the proof of creation by Kent Hovind. This led me to watch further Christian videos and got really intrigued about all the evidence there was for Christ’s existence. I then spiraled into watching a lot of different videos from different online preachers. I was conflicted and very confused with all the different content I was watching. All the information did not always make sense because I was also watching charismatic preachers. I started praying and asking God to lead me in the direction of knowing him. At this stage I started to lose faith in the pursue to know Christ until my wife started telling me that we need to go to church. I thought why do we need to go to church and why does anyone need to go to church. My wife was very persistent, and we ended up going to church. I was not thrilled going to church, but God worked in me and I started to get very curious about knowing Christ again. I started watching reformed theology by John MacArthur, Paul Washer and Voddie Baucham. There I heard the gospel and understood the message of our Savior Jesus Christ for the first time. I immediately knew that this is the absolute truth. This was a massive relief for me… God heard my prayers and revealed Him to me through these reformed preachers and his Word. The more I learned the more I was aware of my disease (sin) and the more I wanted to know about our Redeemer.
Today I know that God took a wretched sinner like me and showed me the greatest love and mercy through Jesus dying on a cross for my and all who believes sin, so that we might stand in front of God one day and not because we are good but that He is perfect and died in our place.
